haishhh...

i met a couple today..was out in klcc and there,..there stood this one couple..as being as straight as i am,i looked at the girl.."perh!!"i said to myself..lawa giler..then i took a look at the guy.."uikk"..jambu gler..with a sharp look,like an eagle eyeing for its prey,i then menepuk dahi sekali..dan sekali lagi..its a shee..damn hunn!!its a gay couple..no offence to gay couples out there,but this one really made me think deep..way deeper than i ever wanted to think about gays..i understand the idea of being gay and all..but im not quite sure whyy...whyyyyy lorddddd!!!!such a beautiful face!!side by side..holding each other..nooo!!!!hehe..im being a bit dramatic here arent i..hehe.

well i do have gay frens..i respect their choice in their orientation.they do what they wana do..as long as they dont make a sandwich out of me then its fine..im not interested ek.before this i cudnt care much,maybe coz i have guy frens that are gays..with the perception of by a person being gay,the more options u have in having a girl for urself..do u get me here??..but seriously,lesbians i cant take it la..i can take it la but rase sayang sgt uhh..hadush!!..

why do people decide to be gays?..is it because of they had a bad relationship with the opposite sex that makes them turn to themselves?..a fren of mine told me that only guys understand guys..only girls understand girls..emotionally,physically,psychologically,sexually..everything lah..some people say they are trap in a different body..lets just say the person is a boy but trap inside a girls body..something like that la.i really do want to understand gays so that i wont offend them in any ways..i respect them,but i have my own believes in my sexual orientation..just dont try anything funny,then i'll be gud to you..can any one explain to me why??..such a beautiful face!!!!xbole terime!!!!xnak terime!!!uwaaa~ peace out bebeh!*xde niat nak mengofen sape2 ek,just a thought* :)

missing an old diary..

those were the days..where everything was put together in one priceless book.i miss it..it had a huge impact on me when i thought about the book.all emotions were there..sadness,happiness,confusions,everything..history..

everything was in it..it was a very detail diary..little sweet notes,messages,receipts,movie tickets,pics,bits n pieces in life were there in the book..oh i miss it so much..wish i cud have it back with me..so that i cud smile back thinking about what happened before..

if only we didnt put it on fire,if only i kept it for myself,it wud have been nice..
a lot of heart was in the book.and maybe by reading it back cud actually make me go in tears..sweet moments in life..it never last.

i spoke with some frens about the past,and i must say that i was a bit emotional expressing my views..maybe i came out too harsh..maybe.

here now,when im sober and all alert,i say i dont regret about my past,and i learn a lot from it..gud and bad..everything happens for a reason.

just a statement for those who might understand,i gain a lott from the relationship and the huge depressing break up..in contrast she said,"i've wasted 4 years of my life with this boy and i've gain nothing".ouch!..i felt no gud have come out of me when we were together..harsh words.i might not be an angel,but im no devil either..

we all make mistakes in life..for some,we cud make adjustments and try to alter the mistakes..and for some,its better to leave it undone and walk away..just walk away..something that im getting use to..

alwiz hav i thought of fighting for love..never give up no matter what..but now i feel like "fuck it" lets chill and enjoy the ride..

love..what is love?
the way i see it,let it come unnoticed..

if ever it comes again..