missing an old diary..

those were the days..where everything was put together in one priceless book.i miss it..it had a huge impact on me when i thought about the book.all emotions were there..sadness,happiness,confusions,everything..history..

everything was in it..it was a very detail diary..little sweet notes,messages,receipts,movie tickets,pics,bits n pieces in life were there in the book..oh i miss it so much..wish i cud have it back with me..so that i cud smile back thinking about what happened before..

if only we didnt put it on fire,if only i kept it for myself,it wud have been nice..
a lot of heart was in the book.and maybe by reading it back cud actually make me go in tears..sweet moments in life..it never last.

i spoke with some frens about the past,and i must say that i was a bit emotional expressing my views..maybe i came out too harsh..maybe.

here now,when im sober and all alert,i say i dont regret about my past,and i learn a lot from it..gud and bad..everything happens for a reason.

just a statement for those who might understand,i gain a lott from the relationship and the huge depressing break up..in contrast she said,"i've wasted 4 years of my life with this boy and i've gain nothing".ouch!..i felt no gud have come out of me when we were together..harsh words.i might not be an angel,but im no devil either..

we all make mistakes in life..for some,we cud make adjustments and try to alter the mistakes..and for some,its better to leave it undone and walk away..just walk away..something that im getting use to..

alwiz hav i thought of fighting for love..never give up no matter what..but now i feel like "fuck it" lets chill and enjoy the ride..

love..what is love?
the way i see it,let it come unnoticed..

if ever it comes again..