ready or not..

see me now,i realize im not the same person as i were before..i am now cold hearted..i have this difficulty..i tend to block love from coming my way..why do i do these things?maybe i dont feel like im worth loving..maybe i feel afraid of getting hurt again..maybe its just not the rite time yet..but then when??when is the time?i tend to run away when they have fallen for me..such a confuse feeling..haf i not moved on?in parts,yes i haf..i dont imagine myself like before..and i certainly am not waiting for history to come again..but why is it im still here?..a fren told me that i have moved on from the girl,but not from the experience..its been quite sumtime now..been trying and trying to no avail..for how long must i try?i do not know.not sad,but very tired.